Sunday, December 03, 2006

Memories

Lost
in memories
Caught up
in the past
in dreams
in hopes
in regrets
in memories

thought i was over it
thought it was in the past
thought i'd moved on
but then
a snapshot of a face
from the past
brought the memories
flooding back
to haunt me

stop
i can't go back there
i can't do anything more
to change the ending
so stop
stop taunting me
i can't deal with those memories
i can't remember that past
i have to move on
it's over
that dream is dead

when i moved on
i only put
off the inevitable
was only boxed up
waiting for a chance
to escape
at the slightest provocation
any reminder
forcing me to
deal with the pain
all over again

time can dull the pain
but just seeing
a photograph
a snapshot
or catching a glimpse
can bring everything
rushing back

so unexpected
sudden
a flash
an image
uncertain
but then it clicked
focus
just something about your smile
that twists my heart

so unclear
so confused
don’t know what to do
can’t forget
memories chase me
can't run
can't hide
no escape
irreplaceable

getting stuck in the past
so caught up in what i had
happy memories
now cause pain
painful to remember
all that was within reach
wondering
if i'll ever
find that again
so clear...so sure
ready to take the leap
on a moments notice
trust so completely
so suddenly
all encompassing

why can’t someone knock
some sense into…
i’m lost

lost in my own world
with no one
who can understand
so alone
lonely

no one
to walk beside me
support me
unconditionally

With you
Felt so safe
Secure
Whole
Complete
Understood

stop
i can't go back there
i can't do anything more
to change the ending
so stop
stop taunting me
i can't deal with those memories
i can't remember that past
i have to move on
it's over
that dream is dead
leave me alone
go away
don’t bother me again
don’t make me shatter you to pieces
you can’t take action
so give up
I’m ready to fight
for my future
right now
you are not part of it
so take a hike

18 Comments:

Blogger Scraps said...

Wow. Very heartfelt...very painful. :(

I wish there was a way I could make it better. You can always lean on me, if you're so inclined.

(((hugs)))

3:40 PM  
Blogger Pragmatician said...

I'm so not good at deciphering these things.
But if I believe anything, it’s not to let past events impede on progress for the future.

4:05 AM  
Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

So beautiful yet sad hope you can forget it or not think about it for your sake.

9:12 AM  
Blogger bellanny said...

Scraps- thanks :-)

Prag- definitely. i am working on it.

SWFM- thanks. me too. i hope future events will ensure that it is no longer a painful memeory.

12:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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5:28 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

wow...wow
holding my breath
let me guess..a boy/man that made u feel secure yet an impossible situation?

10:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:11 PM  
Blogger bellanny said...

David- I hope you've taken a breath by now. As for your guess, no comment :-), except to say that sometimes people can't see what's right in front of them.

12:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:05 AM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

hmmmm whats that supposed to mean?

11:41 PM  
Blogger bellanny said...

it was possible...the best things in life are the ones you have to fight for. does that help?

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:14 PM  
Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

bellany...absolutely thanks
:-)

keep fighting

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Always
***
Hogy van?


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10:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Geia sou

We are happy girls!

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